I can’t tell you the amount of times I have been asked by my feverishly curious male friends why this phenomenon is so wide-spread and predictable. Men just can’t fathom why girls would want to conduct their business in front of an audience. Is it that we lack the independence to do even the simplest task alone?
Or is it that there is a secret girl convention in the bathroom where naked pillow fights and Jell-O wrestling goes down? I’ll pause while your mind races for a second – it’s actually neither of these. Below is a succinct list of why your girl friends are traveling in packs to the restroom:
1. We Don’t Want to Walk Alone: I know this may seem ridiculous but girls are self conscious creatures by nature. That’s why whenever we are waiting for a friend to arrive or on some mode of public transportation you will see us fiddling with our cell phones or desperately looking for a TV screen or magazine to entertain us. We absolutely hate just being. So the walk across the bar, restaurant, or any other venue coupled with waiting in line alone is just too awkward. Who do we talk to? What do we think about? What if we trip and the whole place sees us? The possibilities are just too unbearable and we would rather just be accompanied so we can chit chat and avoid any uncomfortable encounters.
2. We Want to Talk About You: A girl’s bathroom is similar to the monkey bars in elementary school. All the girls congregate there and gossip: who looks good, who doesn’t, what our next move of the evening is going to be, etc. We can stand there for a good twenty minutes ranting and raving about unrelated issues without even realizing it. Furthermore, this is where a lot of planning goes down – if one of us needs to make a run for it from an overly creepy guy or if we need to coordinate a group stare down of the skank that hooked up with our ex-boyfriend – this is where we scheme.
3. We Need Someone to Tell Us How we Look: Sometimes we just need to do an appearance check and make sure that everything is tucked in where it needs to be and that our make-up is as fresh as it was at the beginning of the evening. Although mirrors are great – they are not your friends. Your friends will actually help you tuck and restore your image. They will also answer to the question – “Does this make me look fat” – whereas a mirror will just taunt you with uncertainty.
4. We are Scared we will get Separated from the Group: When in a crowded bar or club it can be nerve wracking to go to the restroom solo because you are scared that once you come out your entire party might have shifted and you will never be able to locate their whereabouts again. However, if you have a friend accompany you to the restroom you will be lost together, thus alleviating any anxiety of frantically searching for your friends, while everyone points and stares at you (at least that is what we think is happening).
To review: Girls go to the bathroom in packs: 1) To avoid the possibility of any out of control situation that might arise in the 2 minutes walk or 10 minute line to/for the restroom, 2) So we can gossip, plan and scheme in peace, 3) To fuel any narcissistic needs or appease any superficial insecurities and 4) So we do not get lost in the deep abyss of people we do not know and situations we cannot control. Strange – yes, irrational – at best, but now you know and one of the many female enigmas is now decoded for you. You are welcome.
September 25th, 2009 at 10:08 am
so the top 4 reasons women go into the bathroom in groups is 1. because the world will end right when they come out of the bathroom. 2. so they can talk trash about people and thier dates in private. 3 .so they can get thier friends to say they are pretty because the mirror insults them 4. so they dont lose thier friends sitting in the same place they were before
September 26th, 2009 at 9:06 am
not even sure if a guy or girl wrote this…
September 26th, 2009 at 10:37 am
I agree with your reasons why girls go together to the restroom. The first reason is the best i always feel as though i will go in the wrong door or something. Ha
October 31st, 2009 at 12:40 pm
This…was better left unwritten. You don’t think guys are self-conscious at all? Perhaps it is because we have been told our whole lives to suck it up and deal with it? So we deal with it. Even when it makes us feel bad.
Honestly, did a troll write this? Because it seems to detail 4 reasons as of to why women are stupid.