Old Woman Uses Google, Finds Relevant Iformation, Appauled

Posted on | July 13, 2009 |

Dee Mathers was shocked

CINCINNATI, OH - Local resident and internet newcomer Dee Mathers was shocked and appalled at what she had found. It was just a few short days ago that Dee received an email from a Nigerian prince asking her to help him transfer the sum of 40,000,000 USD to her bank account. Seeing this as the sound financial investment that it is, Dee thought she’d buy a gift for the prince as a thank you. It was the least Dee could do - she would soon be enjoying a hefty windfall.

Dee Mathers wanted something stylish, fancy and relating to Cincinnati. Dee thought a bow tie would be appropriate for the Nigerian magnate. “It was then I went to the Google and searched for ‘Cincinnati Bow Tie’,” Mathers said. Nauseatingly naive to the words double meaning, and convinced the first set of search results a mistake, Dee Mathers acted on a tip from her grandson. “I had to keep this going. Grandma is such a freakin’ idiot. What an old fossil,” Dee’s grandson Kenny said. Kenny advised his grandmother to search again, but this time using a Google Image search when searching for ‘Cincinnati Bow Tie’.

“I, I just don’t know why the Google would do that,” Mathers cried. “One second you’re playing bridge with the girls the next you’re staring at an estranged sexual act. I just don’t know what to do anymore.” Dee’s grandson Kenny couldn’t be reached for comment after the Google Image search took place. It was rumored he was last seen laughing hysterically eating Panda Express at the local food court. Kenny has a history of tricking his grandma into doing ridiculous things. However, Dee, the President of the ‘I Love My Grandson Kenny Fan Club’, never suspects her own grandson is up to no good.

Dee thought she should send Google a hand-written note expressing her concern that their search engine doesn’t work. Too concerned that the Nigerian prince would resind his offer, Dee scrapped the letter and turned to other search egines. While Dee knowns nearly nothing about the internet, she soon realized that searching on MSN & Yahoo! is a complete and utter waste of time. It was at this time that Dee gave up her pursuit of the Prince’s money and returned to her daily life.

“I feel sorry for that nice young man in Nigeria. I just wish I could help him,” Dee explained.

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