How To Use Quotes From Elf At Your Office Holiday Party
Posted on | December 21, 2009 |
It’s the most wonderful time of the year! The one time when your job actually recognizes your hard work with free food, an open bar and an opportunity for you to act like a normal, stress-free person around your coworkers!
To make the most out this special time, we present you with a holiday edition of How To Use Quotes At Work. If you like this you should also check out more from How To Use Quotes At Work series: The Big Lebowski, Home Alone, and Spaceballs are a few.
Situation: You Have Been Volunteered to Work On The Party Planning Committee
For whatever reason, this year the powers-that-be thought you would have great input for the annual holiday party. When it comes time for you to give your suggestions in the meeting, prove them right or wrong with this:
I thought maybe we could make gingerbread houses and eat cookie dough and go ice skating and maybe even hold hands!
Situation: Your boss is being a Scrooge the day of the party.
The day is finally nigh and you’re full of the holiday spirit. However your boss can’t understand what you’re smiling about when there’s still fourth quarter budgets to finalize. Brush off their grumpiness with this:
I just like to smile. Smiling’s my favorite.
If they still aren’t getting it and they say something like:
Make work your favorite, ok? Work is your new favorite.
Then it’s your duty to try and spread the joy with this:
Uh oh. Sounds like someone needs to sing a Christmas carol. The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear.
After they leave the scene, feel free to vent by muttering something like this under your breath:
You sit on a throne of lies!
Situation: You arrive at the party and everyone looks miserable.
Don’t blame them: they’ve just ended a workday like any other and it takes time to decompress. When you enter the room to find everyone spread out and awkwardly picking at appetizers, lighten the mood with this:
This place reminds me of Santa’s workshop except it smells like mushrooms and everyone looks like they want to hurt me.
Situation: You get stuck talking to a depressed and intoxicated coworker.
The same combination of eggnog and the holidays that cheers you up has the opposite effect on some. If you get stuck talking to someone who has a particularly bad case of the holiday blues and they say something like this:
Why don’t you just say it? …I’m a cotton-headed ninnymuggins.
Then don’t hesitate to boost their confidence with a compliment like this:
No buddy, you’re not a cotton-headed ninnymuggins. We all just have different talents, that’s all. You have lots of talents. Uh, special talents in fact! Like uh…um…
Situation: After downing liquid courage all night, it’s finally time to confess your love to your office crush.
The party was a great success and as everyone is heading out, there she is: someone who shares your affinity for elf culture. Or, er, a really cute girl that you’ve been waiting to ask out for a long time. The best way to charm her into going on a date with you is to use this line:
I think you’re beautiful and I, um, I feel really warm when I am around you and um, my tongue swells up? So… do you wanna go eat food?
If that doesn’t sweep her off her feet, I don’t know what will. Now head home, try not to get lost in the seven levels of the candy cane forest and remember there is room for everyone on the nice list!
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