Al Bundy upgrades Dodge using Cash for Clunkers
Posted on | July 31, 2009 |
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CHICAGO—July 31, 2009—One day after the government announced they will suspend the popular “Cash for Clunkers” program, Chicago native Al Bundy caught an uncharacteristic break.
The star-crossed shoe salesman is constantly drawing the short-end of the stick. Today, however, was different for Bundy. “I work in a shoe store, I make less than minimum wage,” Bundy huffed and puffed. Today, Bundy would not be denied.
Bundy drove his 1971 burnt sienna, mid-century Dodge Dart Demon with over 90,000 miles on it down to the local Autoplex - much to the chagrin of his wife, Peggy Bundy. “I thought the true Bundy Legacy was underwear with just an elastic band.”
Despite the significant backlog of “Cash for clunkers” deals, Bundy was able to push his deal through. Clearly his extensive experience as a salesman paid off, for once. The “Cash for Clunkers” program offers owners of old cars and trucks $3,500 or $4,500 toward a new, more fuel-efficient vehicle. Bundy would not comment on what car he purchased since he wanted to keep it hidden from his wife. It was then Bundy went off on an erroneous tangent , “Those articles that say married couples have sex every month are just sensationalistic lies perpetrated on the public to sell magazines. It’s hooey I tell you, hooey.”
Al Bundy
Just days before, Bundy was looking to end it all when he was forced to pump gas until he earned back the money his family spent at a gas station. Bundy is frequently at odds with his family over financial issues. When word reached Bundy’s son, Bud Bundy, that the family was going to get a brand new car, Bud could hardly contain his excitement. “Oh the hooters I’ll be a-juggling,” Bud proclaimed. Although the news was hidden from his wife at the time, Bundy’s son heard the rumor while at his father’s favorite nudie bar.
Before upgrading his Dodge, Bundy already planned what he was going to say to his son when he would undoubtedly sneak into the new car: “Now, son, you’ve got two choices: you can get out, or, you can get the hell out.”
Bundy would return home and address his family, “Peg, kids, get ready to torture me - I’m home.” By this time the entire family new about the car. Bundy looked at his family and dug deep inside himself to find the right words to say to them. Bundy, chosing his words carefully, looked his family over and said “I left high-school, lost the will to live and here I am…”
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2 Responses to “Al Bundy upgrades Dodge using Cash for Clunkers”
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July 31st, 2009 @ 2:00 pm
Haha way to go bundy! :D
August 1st, 2009 @ 10:53 am
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