Archive | June, 2009

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Sole Luna Cafe in San Diego

Posted on 29 June 2009 by movie

Sole Luna Cafe is at the base of the El Cortez building (Ash in between 7th and 8th) in downtown  San Diego. I live just around the corner and I’ve eaten at Sole Luna Cafe 4 times now; 3 times for breakfast and once for dinner. During my 3 trips for breakfast I ordered the same thing all three times: Bagel with smoked salmon, red onion, capers and cream cheese. It comes with fresh fruit too. There is a good reason why I ordered the same thing for breakfast all 3 times - it’s really good and it fills you up. It’s pretty quite that early on a Saturday morning but it’s really relaxing. It’s right on the corner so you really get the city feel while you’re eating.

When I went to Sole Luna Cafe for dinner I ordered the lasagna. Hands down some of the best lasagna I’ve ever had. I dream about this lasagna it’s so good. What’s nice about Sole Luna Cafe is the ambiance. There is a really nice outdoor seating area that’s very chill and relaxing. The guy who waited on us was extremely Italian and pretty funny. He advised me he wouldn’t have to put my plate in the dishwasher because I practically licked it clean. There were other people eating dinner and a few people were there for drinks and happy hour.

The inside of Sole Luna Cafe definitely has an Italian bistro feel as you can order pastries and coffee. The prices are a tad too high for being so far outside of Gaslamp but this is the only knock on Sole Luna Cafe. It’s certainly a great addition to the Cortez Hill neighborhood and I hope more restaurants follow. All in all, Sole Luna Cafe has really great food and it’s definitely a great dining experience. When you go be sure to sit outside and consider yourself lucky if you get the very-Italian waiter.

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Juno Movie Review

Posted on 27 June 2009 by movie

Films like Juno are rare… they work on many levels simultaneously and hit each one perfectly.  Juno has all the elements that made films like Little Miss Sunshine and Garden State so beloved by audiences and critics alike.  You walk out of the theatre feeling great, feeling happy, feeling like you enjoyed the journey from beginning to end and want to experience it again.

The dialogue is hip, original, and funny… many of which are sure to make its way into pop culture… homeskillet.  The cast is led by Ellen Page and Michael Cera, arguably two of the best underrated young actor/ess of recent years.  When I first saw Juno, I liked it a lot — maybe four-stars worth of a lot.  When I watched it a second time, I loved it — five stars worth.

Juno

Juno

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Top 10 Bands that aren’t Actually One Hit Wonders

Posted on 24 June 2009 by movie

It can be quite frustrating talking shop about your favorite bands with a person who’s only familiar with that song that they sing. “Of course I’m a fan, I love THAT song that I hear on the radio all the time.”

All band descriptions in this article are courtesy of allmusic.com.

10) Flobots - “Handlebars”

Featuring dual MCs as well as a full band, the Flobots are a progressive rap group from Denver, CO, with a political conscious, musical chops, and a powerful live show. Influenced by progressive rappers such as the Roots and Common as well as alternative hard rock bands such as Rage Against the Machine and Tool, the Flobots were founded in 2005, comprised of MCs Jonny 5 (born Jamie Laurie) and Brer Rabbit (born Stephen Brackett) — who originally met in elementary school — along with musicians Andy Guerrero (guitar), Mackenzie Roberts (viola), Joe Ferrone (trumpet), Jesse Walker (bass), and Kenny Ortiz (drums).

Five other songs you must know:

  1. Stand Up
  2. Rise
  3. We Are Winning
  4. No W
  5. Combat


9) Angels and Airwaves- “Everything’s Magic”
With the hiatus of pop-punk superstars blink-182 in full effect by the fall of 2005, singer/guitarist Tom DeLonge revealed the formation of his new band — one he’d already been working with for six months — Angels & Airwaves. With the notoriety of his previous group, much hype ensued after the announcement: in interviews with outlets like mtv.com, DeLonge proclaimed (among other things) that the new music would take elements of bands like U2 and Pink Floyd and ultimately be something of a revolution to change the face of rock & roll forever.

Five other songs you must know:

  1. Do It for Me Now
  2. A Little’s Enough
  3. The War
  4. Breathe
  5. Lifeline

8) Mates of State - “Goods (All An Your Head)”
Kori Gardner (keyboard/vocals) and Jason Hammel (drums/vocals) were both playing guitar and singing in the Kansas music metropolis of Lawrence before forming the Mates of State in 1997. With their dual vocal harmonies and minimal pop appeal, Omnibus Records released Mates of State’s first EP as a split with Fighter D in 1999. Upon a relocation to San Francisco, the duo’s second EP, It’s the Law/Invitation Inn, and a debut studio effort, My Solo Project, followed in 2000. Tours of the Midwest followed into the next year and creative ideas continued to swirl.

Five other songs you must know:

  1. Ha Ha
  2. Middle is Gold
  3. Fraud in the ’80s
  4. Think Long
  5. Running Out

7) Silversun Pickups - “Lazy Eye”

Brian Aubert (guitar/vocals), Nikki Monninger (bass), Christopher Guanlao (drums), and Joe Lester (keyboards) comprise the swarthy indie rock stylings of Silversun Pickups. The quartet’s textured melodies capture the hypnotic dream pop threads of My Bloody Valentine and pop bitter sweetness of Earlimart, and such a blend has wowed their native L.A. since 2005. Silversun Pickups issued their debut release, the six-song Pikul EP that same year while shared show dates with the likes of Brendan Benson, Dead Meadow, Two Gallants, and Black Rebel Motorcycle Club followed into 2006.

Five other songs you must know:

  1. Melatonin
  2. Well Thought Out Twinkles
  3. Little Lover’s So Polite
  4. Three Seed
  5. Common Reactor

6) Cold War Kids - “Hang Me Up To Dry”

Fullerton, CA’s Cold War Kids make music with roots that go deep and wide, embracing influences as diverse as Bob Dylan, Billie Holiday, Jeff Buckley, and the Velvet Underground. Matt Aveiro, Matt Maust, Jonnie Russell, and Nathan Willett began crafting their soulful, blues-inflected take on indie rock as Cold War Kids in 2004, recording demos in Los Angeles soon after they formed. After signing to Monarchy Music, Cold War Kids released their debut EP, Mulberry Street, in spring 2005. The band’s unique sound and impassioned live act generated a buzz — particularly from bloggers — that grew with each tour and release.

Five other songs you must know:

  1. We Used To Vacation
  2. Rubidoux
  3. Hospital Beds
  4. God, Make Up Your Mind
  5. Passing The Hat

5) The Arcade Fire - “Rebellion (Lies)”

Régine Chassagne, Richard Parry, Tim Kingsbury, and brothers Win Butler and William Butler comprise the Arcade Fire, an experimental indie rock outfit hailing from the musical hotbed of Montreal. The five-piece band formed in the summer of 2003, after Butler spotted Chassagne singing jazz standards at a local art exhibit at Concordia University. The two quickly became inseparable, both professionally and personally, and gathered Parry on organ, Kingsbury on bass, and Win Butler’s younger brother William on synthesizer and percussion to form the Arcade Fire.

Five other songs you must know:

  1. Neighborhood #1 (Tunnels)
  2. Haiti
  3. Neighborhood #2 (Laika)
  4. Neighborhood #3 (Power Out)
  5. Wake Up

4) Kings of Leon - “Sex On Fire”
Initially embraced as “the Southern Strokes” for their resurrection and reinvention of Dixie-styled rock & roll, Kings of Leon steadily morphed themselves into an experimental rock outfit during the 2000s. The Tennessee-bred quartet debuted in 2003 with the Holy Roller Novocaine EP, whose blend of raw, unpolished boogie rock was further explored on their debut full-length, Youth & Young Manhood. Such revivalist music was matched by a similarly revivalist appearance — including long hair, mustaches, and tight-fitting denim — and Kings of Leon experienced immediate popularity in the U.K. (where they would later enjoy platinum album sales, despite an initially lukewarm reception at home)

Five other songs you must know:

  1. Wicker Chair
  2. California Waiting
  3. My Third House
  4. Closer
  5. Knocked Up

3) Pixies - “Where Is My Mind?”
Combining jagged, roaring guitars and stop-start dynamics with melodic pop hooks, intertwining male-female harmonies and evocative, cryptic lyrics, the Pixies were one of the most influential American alternative rock bands of the late ’80s. The Pixies weren’t accomplished musicians — Black Francis wailed and bashed out chords while Joey Santiago’s lead guitar squealed out spirals of noise. But the bandmembers were inventive, rabid rock fans who turned conventions inside out, melding punk and indie guitar rock, classic pop, surf rock, and stadium-sized riffs with singer/guitarist Black Francis’ bizarre, fragmented lyrics about space, religion, sex, mutilation, and pop culture; while the meaning of his lyrics may have been impenetrable, the music was direct and forceful.

Five other songs you must know:

  1. Gigantic
  2. Debaser
  3. Caribou
  4. Wave of Mutilation
  5. Bone Machine

2) The Decemberists - “Mariners Revenge Song”
Led by Colin Meloy, the Decemberists are a five-piece outfit whose ambitious, folk-inspired pop sound has been compared to the likes of Neutral Milk Hotel and Belle & Sebastian. Meloy, a native of Missoula, MT, is the main songwriter and chief visionary for the group, whose initial lineup also included drummer Ezra Holbrook, bassist Nate Query, keyboardist/accordionist Jenny Conlee, and multi-instrumentalist Chris Funk. Frontman Meloy had previously devoted some time to an alternative country group before breaking off to pursue his craft as a singer/songwriter in the city of Portland, a move that eventually led to the Decemberists’ formation. Drawing influence from his degree in creative writing, he began fashioning a hybrid of literate lyrics and wide-ranging pop music, touching upon everything from British folk to Morrissey in the process.

Five other songs you must know:

  1. Los Angeles, I’m Yours
  2. The Bachelor And The Bride
  3. The Bandit Queen
  4. Oceanside
  5. On The Bus Mall

1) Modest Mouse - “Float On”
Issaquah, WA, indie rock trio Modest Mouse was formed in 1993 by vocalist/guitarist Isaac Brock, bassist Eric Judy, and drummer Jeremiah Green. After honing their muscular sound in “The Shed” — a makeshift practice space built by Brock on the land next to his mother’s trailer — Modest Mouse entered Calvin Johnson’s Dub Narcotic Studios to cut their 1994 self-titled debut single, released on Johnson’s K Records label. Following a move to the Up label, the trio issued two 1996 LPs, This Is a Long Drive for Someone With Nothing to Think About and Interstate 8. After returning to K, Modest Mouse released The Fruit That Ate Itself in 1997; its follow-up from later that year, The Lonesome Crowded West, was the band’s breakthrough, and in the wake of a major-label bidding war, they signed to Sony. The rarities collection Building Nothing out of Something appeared on Up in early 2000, followed later that year by their long-awaited Epic debut, The Moon & Antarctica. In 2001, the band issued the Everywhere and His Nasty Parlor Tricks EP and K released Sad Sappy Sucker, a “lost album” that was intended to be the group’s full-length debut back in 1994. Brock kept busy with his Ugly Casanova side project, which delivered Sharpen Your Teeth in 2002. Modest Mouse finally returned in 2004 with Good News for People Who Love Bad News, their best-received record and a Top 40 hit as well. For their next record, Brock enlisted the help of former Smiths guitarist Johnny Marr, who not only added his songwriting and playing skills to We Were Dead Before the Ship Even Sank — which was released in early 2007 — but also toured with the band as a member.

Ten other songs you must know:

  1. 3rd Planet
  2. Paper Thin Walls
  3. The Good Times are Killing Me
  4. Lives
  5. Bury Me with It
  6. Bukowski
  7. Gravity Rides Everything
  8. Perfect Disguise
  9. Talking Shit About a Pretty Sunset
  10. Dark Center of the Universe







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Top 10 Greatest Moments From the Fresh Prince of Bel Air

Posted on 20 June 2009 by movie

10) Trevor’s Bungee-Jump Proposal to Hilary

Hilary’s boyfriend Trevor wanted to make a giant splash while proposing to Hilary.  So Trevor decided to bungee jump while proposing to Hilary - all on live television. Unfortunately the bungee cord didn’t bungee and Trevor went splat. “Hilary Banks! Will…you…marry…….” SPLAT! The rest of the Banks family watched in bewilderment as Hilary didn’t initially realize what was going on. Typical Hillary.

9) Will is Jameson Whitworth’s Lucky Charm

Jameson Whitworth (One of Phillips clients) believes Will is his lucky charm - or at least his stuffed dog has told him so. Whitworth believes Will has made him millions on stock tips and equips Will with nice clothes, a cell phone and a limousine service to and from his office.

Will relishes his role as Jameson’s homie.


8) Juggles the Clown

During the verdict of the show-biz madam trial, arguably the highest profile case for Judge Banks, a clown takes the courtroom hostage. The bomb-strapped clown demands the public see his comedy routine. Under the undesirable tutelage of Juggles the Clown, Will plays a starring role in his act - which is terrible.

“Now Juggles, I’m going tell you something as a friend. You suck. It’s not because people don’t like you or they won’t give you a chance. It’s because you suck.”

Classic.

7) Will & Carlton tricking Geoffrey into thinking he won the lottery

The episode features dueling pranks between Geoffrey and the team of Will & Carlton. Things go too far when Will & Carlton play a tape of yesterdays winning lottery number and trick Geoffrey into thinking he’s won millions. Geoffrey loses his mind when he thinks he’s won and starts jumping all over the house and even in to Uncle Phil’s arms.

Geoffrey's celebration

Geoffrey's celebration

6) Will & Carlton Stealing Silverware back from Neighbor

Will & Carlton suspect their neighbor (played by Zsa Zsa Gabor) stole silverware from their house after a party. They go to investigate by sneaking into her house and stuffing their pants with what they suspect is their silverware. They soon get caught underneath a table which Uncle Phil and their neighbor are sitting at.

Hilarity ensues as Will fakes the caricature of a cardboard cutout and Carlton winds up having a nervous breakdown.

Will Staying Under Cover

Will Staying Under Cover

5) Will Sneaking around Grocery Store in Fat Suit

Suspecting that his Girlfriend (Lisa) might be cheating him, will begins to follow her around town. However, Will made a better earlier in the day with fitness enthusiast Susan Powter to wear the fat suit for the entire day. While Will is doing his sleuthing his fat suit falls down in the middle of grocery store and he never notices.

4) Will’s Pickup Lines

Every guy on earth wishes they were as smooth as the Fresh Prince. What can you say about his pickup lines besides amazing! Here is just a small sample of amazing lines we saw throughout the seasons. How could you possibly put them all in one clip….there’s just no way.

3) Will gets Punched at the Bowling Alley

Will and Lisa go bowling and another man starts hitting on Lisa. Wills best insults lead to the larger man clocking the Fresh Prince into a stupor. After, Lisa beats up the guy and Will is left demoralized and embarrassed. Will later gets made fun of by Ken Griffey Jr.

2) Will Dancing to OPP while waxing the “Rapmobile”

Against the wishes of his Aunt & Uncle, Will decides he’s better suited to pick up hunnies down at the mall in a sweet ride to roll in. It seems only Geoffrey is amused by will blasting Naughty by Nature and the entire house shaking. Will shows off some of his classic dance skills.

You down with OPP (Yeah you know me)
Who’s down with OPP (Every last homie)
You down with OPP (Yeah you know me)
Who’s down with OPP (All the homies)

1) Carlton’s Strip Tease to Michael Jackson

To earn some extra cash, Carlton and Will decide to preform a strip tease for a lady’s club. Little did they know, Hilary was trying to earn a membership to the same club and her and Vivian were in attendance. Carlton steals the show when Will turns on Michael Jackson….

No matter how many times I watch this clap I laugh out loud every time!





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Hip Hop Ain’t Dead, Its Underground at Canes Bar & Grill!

Posted on 16 June 2009 by movie

During a ride down the Oceanwalk in Mission Beach I saw sign in my peripherals which I thought I saw the words Del. Of course I turned around to get a closer look at this poster and it was in fact a poster for a Del tha Funkee Homosapien show on April tenth! After reading over the poster a few times to confirm this was not a scam or some sort of joke I finally looked away from the poster to determine the name of this fine establishment where I would shortly be viewing Del perform live. The name of this Ocean front restaurant is Canes Bar & Grill. Canes has many areas including a rooftop deck, a restaurant room and a club area consisting of a stage and dance floor.

canes-pb

Canes Bar and Grill in PB

The ticket office is located right outside Canes. Calling ahead, I knew Del was not going on until at least 11:20pm so I arrived and 10:30pm and had no issue purchasing a ticket for a very reasonable $20. At the ticket office there is a calendar and I was thrilled to see Immortal Technique coming to Canes on April 22nd! On to the Del show, I immediately knew why The San Diego Reader calls Canes “One of the best live music venues in town.” The sound system is legit. When I walked in a DJ by the name of Mike Relm was on stage. Mike links his turntables to video equipment and is actually able to manipulate video with his turntables which made for a great show. As mostDJs with some Hip Hop influence the bass levels were high and surprisingly crisp and clear without drowning out the mids or the highs. It was a full, quality sound which won me over right away. Del opened the show strong with the Hieroglyphics cut At the Helm which is featured in the Tony Hawk Project 8 commercial.

Hieroglyphics is the underground Hip-Hop collective founded by Del in the early 90s and originally included Souls of Mischief, Domino, Casual,Snupe , and Pep Love. A-Plus, one of the founding members of Souls of Mischief, joined Del on stage to provide backup vocals! The second song Del performed was Virus from Deltron 3030. Deltron 3030 is a supergroup of Hip-Hop artists, composed of producer Dan the Automator, rapper Del and DJ Kid Koala. Deltron 3030 scores high on my top ten Underground Hip-Hip Albums and is a must listen for any Hip-Hop head. The rest of the show, except for the finale, consisted of Del’s solo work. A couple of songs which stood out were Mistadobalina from Del’s first solo album I Wish My Brother George Was Here and Get It Right Now from his latest album Funk Man, which can be downloaded for free! Del busted out Clint Eastwood by the Gorillaz for an explosive finale! Del and Dan the Automator both worked on the first studio album put out by the Gorillaz. In all Del put on a great show and successfully turned me on to a great place to find underground Hip-Hop in San Diego!

Immortal Technique

Immortal Technique

I returned to Canes on April 22nd for Immortal Technique and once again was impressed with Canes. Immortal Technique is a legitimate madman who will say anything about anybody and this makes for a freaking amazing show. During this show I arrived early and explored the many different viewing options available at Canes. The first and most obvious option is the dance floor section directly in front of the stage. This is where most people will pack in and go crazy once the main act hits the stage. The more chill section, which is a bit elevated to provide a great view with out being elbow to elbow with someone is to the left of the stage if you were looking at the stage. There is also a bar right there which makes buying beers quick and easy. This bar is located in the back and is never too crowded. The third option is to walk up the flight of stairs directly behind the dance floor and there is a standing area after the first flight. This seems to be the most chill and definitely a great option for a more casual fan.

This area will fill up quickly so arrive early if this is your desired viewing location. During Del’s show I went close to the stage on the dance floor, I really enjoyed being so close but was knocked around a bit and split my beer a few times. I decided to try to slightly elevated area to the left of the stage. I enjoyed this area due the good view and the space. Immortal Technique threw together a sick set! I have seen him three times and I was pleased to hear many new songs live. Immortal dropped a few of my favorites from his newest album The 3rd World including Harlem Renaissance, The 3rd World and Mistakes. Immortal also brought out Chino XL and Crooked I, both who performed earlier, to drop Lick Shots which the three turned out a great performance of the track. Immortal dropped some classics from Revolutionary Vol. 2 including Crossing the Boundary, Point of No Return and the his most famous tracks Industrial Revolution and Dance with the Devil. With these songs this set is already sick but Immortal took it even higher breaking out the B-side Caught in the Hustle. As I walked out of the second solid Hip-Hop show at Canes I could say Hip-Hop Ain’t Dead, Its Underground at Canes!

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A Dream

Posted on 14 June 2009 by rob

So, it all starts out with me and Axel Foley on stakeout outside this apartment building.  We’re hanging out in this parking lot across the street.  Next thing I know, John Candy comes strolling up, in uniform, on hoarse back.  Axel and John start going at it.  Axel is naturally angry that John is going to blow our cover and goes into one of his typical Beverly Hills cop tirades.  I turn to watch the apartment since we are there on a stakeout.  Somehow, John, and his hoarse, manage to fall over on top of a car.  Completely crushing the roof of the car.

Axel Foley

Axel Foley

Luckily it was dream so I was able to consult the eyes in the back of my head, which I think I need to get fixed.  Anyway, here’s what they saw:  Somehow John and the hoarse make their way onto some scaffolding.  Don’t ask me how because the scaffolding did not exist earlier in the dream.  Basically what I’m seeing is a big I-beam suspended in air, with a hoarse and a fat guy teetering on it.  Then, in a typical Peter Griffin falling down motion, John falls off the beam and hits the car instantaneously.  Like I said earlier, I think I need to get the eyes in the back of my head fixed.

Anyway, Axel is pissed and tells me to move the car.  I get up to go and get into the car and who do I see coming out of the apartment complex?  None other than Johnny Lawrence from the Cobra Kai dojo!  I watch him get into the crushed car, seemingly oblivious to its current state.  Next thing I know, through some kind of Quantum Leap miracle, I’m in the driver seat and more importantly am now Johnny Lawrence from the Cobra Kai dojo.

Now, from what I can only image was some kind of movie magic, the car is completely fine from the inside.  It is all black leather and upholstery with tons of blinking lights and buttons.  It looked more like the inside of Darth Vadar’s personal transport than a car.  Anyway, the shifter, or at least what I knew to be the shifter (it looked more like an E-brake), was about three feet long with a wide enough base to also house one of those old school tape decks (you know, the kind where the cassette and holder popped straight out of the player).  Okay so, I start the car and there is one of those 90’s car voices that tells you your door is open only this one is saying “Please insert Star Wars tape” over and over again.  [I guess Johnny had a bit of the Sci-Fi buzz, what a dork.]

Johnny Lawrence

Johnny Lawrence

The hoarse falling on the car had to take effect somewhere and I soon found out that it effected the transmission because only reverse worked.  So, I pull out of the parking lot and head up the block.  Then I pull this crazy turn cutting off traffic and end up in a auto-mechanic’s parking lot.  [all in reverse, it was actually pretty sweet, and that car kept telling me to insert the Star Wars tape]  I pull the car right onto one of the lifts and hop out.  While I was driving it, the car apparently turned into a dragster because that was what I was looking at on the lift.  For some reason all the mechanics in the place were chinamen.  I walk up to one and start talking to him about my car.  He quickly tells me he can’t work on it in the shop until we stop the gas leak.  I turn around and the thing is leaking fuel like crazy.

While I wait for a couple guys to help me pull the dragster out of the garage, I decide why not head for the beach and catch some waves.  I’m back to watching the action third person and I see Johnny walk up to the beach wearing a black leather jacket and black jean shorts with a black back pack slung over his shoulder.  It was similar to watching a cowboy walk off into the sunset, only this was Johnny Lawrence from the Cobra Kai dojo and he was going to surf.

Apparently I wasn’t interested in watching him surf because I suddenly found myself inside an 80’s surf/skate movie.  Actually, it was so suddenly.  They were filming off to the edge of the beach and I just kinda walked up.  In my dream, I was convinced I was on a real movie but now I can’t remember what it was.  When the movie wasn’t shooting, all the guys were hanging out surfing and skating.  Sean Penn was there, along with a boy that looked like River Phoenix and Jason Lee (He looked more like he did in that skater movie “The man who souled the world” than “My Name is Earl”).  They were all stoned and sitting around on a picnic table it was pretty crazy.  Then the cruel mistress that is my alarm clock, woke me up.

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Sweeney Todd Movie Review

Posted on 12 June 2009 by movie

Sweeney Todd lyrics, soundtrack, songs, wiki, casts, quotes, movie

Disclaimer: Walking into this, I had no clue it was a musical!

Most people would agree separately, Depp and Burton can do no wrong… and when they collaborate… it’s pretty much a solid must see.  When it comes to Sweeney Todd, I wish I could keep this opinion going.  If it wasn’t a musical, I would definitely say go see it, but to be honest, it’s a little hard to sit through with all that singing going on.  I found it novel and entertaining initially, but the repetitious songs wore me down and made me hope normal methods of speech would continue service.

The singing dialogue aside, the story was decent and well executed, the classic Tim Burton sets and atmosphere were top notch, and I didn’t really have a problem with the cast.  I wouldn’t rush to the theatre to see it, but it’s worth a rental or netflix or on demand… whatever you kids use these days ;-)

Sweeney Todd

Sweeney Todd

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Super Smash T.V.

Posted on 10 June 2009 by movie

Arguably the most underrated video game of all time and Wikipedia gets it all wrong. The Super Smash T.V. (Super Nintendo game) entry in Wikipedia redirects you to the entry for Smash T.V. (arcade game). Terrible. How could this be? The only reference to the Super Nintendo game is, “Smash TV was ported to consoles, including the NES, SNES (as Super Smash TV)…” That’s it. An afterthought. Also on the top of the Wikipedia entry there are two notes:

  1. “This article may require cleanup to meet Wikipedia’s quality standards. Please improve this article if you can.”
  2. “This article needs additional citations for verification.
    Please help improve this article by adding reliable references. Unsourced material may be challenged and removed.”

[Cameron from Ferris Bueller impersonating George Peterson voice]: Just what in the HELL is the matter with you? The contributors for this entry are clearly mentally challenged. Enough about Wikipedia…

Super Smash T.V. is a fast-action top-view run-and-gun shoot-em-up edge-of-your-seat game with the most ridiculous plot ever:

“The year is 1999, television has adapted to the more violent nature of man. The most popular form of television remains the game show. One show in particular has dominated the ratings. That show is Smash T.V. The most violent game show of all time. Two lucky contestants compete for cash and prizes. Each contestant is armed with an assortment of powerful weapons and sent into a closed arena. The action takes place in front of a studio audience and is broadcast live via satellite around the world. Be prepared. The future is now. You are the next lucky contestant!”

Wow.

Super Smash T.V.

Super Smash T.V.

Super Smash T.V. was produced by the illustrious video game company Beam Software. If you can name anything else produced by Beam Software in the next 15 seconds without looking it up I will give you a dollar. The fact that Beam Software produced Super Smash T.V. only adds to the games uniqueness. Safe to say that the owner of Beam Software probably has a bronzed Super Smash T.V. cartridge on his desk.

Super Smash T.V. is eerily similar to the Arnold Schwarzenegger movie The Running Man. Where Schwarzenegger’s character, Ben Richards, is “a wrongly-convicted man [who] must try to survive a public execution gauntlet staged as a TV game show” (IMDB).

You can win Big Money and Big Prizes as a contestant on Smash T.V. You can win VCRs, TVs, quality meat, cars, cash, gold bricks, toasters and much, much more. Although, the real prize is entering the elusive Pleasure Dome. The Pleasure Dome is a secret area in Super Smash T.V. where you can only enter if you gather enough keys and survive up to that point. Most Super Smash T.V. veterans have never experienced the spoils and debauchery offered by the Pleasure Dome. I’ve been playing this game on and off since elementary school and I’ve only entered the Dome 3 times.

Super Smash T.V. has some seriously odd bosses. I wont run though all of them because I don’t want to spoil it if you have never played this game before. I Just want to give an honorable mention to the first boss you’ll face: Mutoid Man. Mutoid Man is a giant robot with the caricature of a human upper body that rests on tank wheels. Mutoid Man loves running contestants over and blasting them with his eye lasers. A true nemesis. Mutoid Man is an insufferable foe with a kill count that must be in the thousands.

Side note: True Super Smash T.V. fans can never refuse an offer to play Super Smash T.V.

Super Smash T.V. Strategies
Constants of Super Smash T.V. implement two main strategies to stay alive. They are: Be highly aggressive going for all power ups. The other being highly defensive and to defend a single spot. I’m not in favor of the highly aggressive strategy because that can lead to carelessness and death. However, if executed properly, you are pretty much unstoppable. The challenges of the defensive strategy are staying patient and sticking to the strategy. I’ve renamed the defensive strategy to “Corner Management”.

As the name suggests, you and your fellow contestant stay in one corner the entire time and defend that spot. Only a few weapons are powerful enough that require leaving the spot. Just like the aggressive strategy, the defensive strategy, if executed properly, is unstoppable. The picture below depicts how you go about managing a corner. First you go up and right back down. Then you go right and return to the corner. Then go up, returning to the corner…and so on. Obviously you are shooting the entire time. Never, ever stop shooting.

Super Smash TV Strategies

Corner Management

Super Smash T.V. is one of those games that will give a kid with a weak stomach a seizure. Of course I have no evidence of this, but play the game for 5 minutes and you’ll know what I’m talking about. The pulsing music, explosions everywhere, big money, big prizes raining down. It’s mayhem and if you’re not ready for it, you’ll go down.

Super Smash T.V.  Subconscious Play

The first few times you play Super Smash T.V. you’ll be surprised how quick the pace of the game is (not even talking about Turbo Mode). A multitude of enemies attack you out of four doors at the same time; you need to be really sharp. That’s one reason why the Corner Management strategy usually wins out - you only have to defend two sides instead of four sides if you chose to play aggressively. There are times when either you or your partner’s level of play dips and evasive action is required to survive. Since one man can’t hold down the corner and your partner is getting killed left and right, you need to drastically increase the level of your play.

This is no easy feat. In order to do so you need to focus every ounce of your being into Super Smash T.V. You need to enter a level of subconsciousness I call Ninja Mode. Ninja Mode can’t be explained. Ninja Mode can’t be taught. Ninja Mode can’t be turned on and off like a light switch. Not everyone has the mental fortitude to enter Ninja Mode. Ninja Mode is epic. When you are in Ninja Mode, you leave your body and are looking at yourself from a top-down view; much like the view when playing Super Smash T.V. Your moves are ridiculous, you can’t be stopped. People will watch in awe. Ninja Mode is when you are at your absolute, unquestioned highest level of play. There is nothing beyond Ninja Mode.

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A Look At Visual Imagery

Posted on 09 June 2009 by movie

visual imagery, Dr. Faustus, King Lear, Paradise Lost

The visual imagery in Dr. Faustus, King Lear, and Paradise Lost creates lasting impressions of characters, plot, and dialogue. Many of the images that appear in these text appeal to the reader’s imagination. In addition these images appealing to the reader’s imagination, the reader is pulled in by the dark nature of the characters and the fearful situations they encounter. Throughout these texts, the ideology of good vs. evil is expressed; becoming another factor adding to visual imagery.

“What art thou, Faustus, but a man condemned to die?” (2.25) Dr. Faustus presents a character that falls into despair, loneliness, and sin. Despite their dark nature, everyone can relate to them because all have felt them in way aspect or another. Because these situations are relatable, Christopher Marlowe’s readership can envision Dr. Faustus in them. “My heart’s so hardened I cannot repent! Scarce can I name salvation, faith, or heaven, but fearful echoes thunders in mine ears ‘Faustus, thou are damned’; then swords and knives, Poison, guns, halters and envenomed steel are laid before me to dispatch myself” (5.195). Marlowe paints a powerful image of despair in this scene; it’s powerful to imagine the despairing Dr. Faustus wanting to kill himself by his own hands using a swords, knives, poison, guns, hanging ropes, and envenomed steel. Another powerful visual image Marlowe depicts is Dr. Faustus pleading for his soul before the clock strikes eleven and the gates of hell open to take him home. This image set up the dichotomy between good vs. evil that will be prevalent throughout this paper. “The stars move still, time runs, the clock will strike, The devil will come, and Faustus must be damned…Let Faustus live in hell a thousand years, A hundred thousand, and at last be saved. O no end is limited to damned souls!” (13.64/92).

“The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a Heav’n of Hell, a Hell of Heav’n…To reign is worth ambition though in Hell: Better to reign in Hell, than serve in Heav’n” (1.254/263). John Milton’s Paradise Lost is the ultimate example of good vs. evil. Milton’s characters include God, Satan, Adam, Even and a litany of angels; serving both Heaven and Hell. The intense language that surrounds Satan and his legion of doom enthralls Milton’s readership. “With hideous ruin and combustion down to the bottomless perdition, there to dwell in adamantine chains and penal fire, who durst defy th’ Omnipotent to arms…he with his horrid crew lay vanquished, rolling in the fiery gulf…the thought both of lost happiness and lasting pain torments him” (1.46). Good vs. Evil has been instilled in is from a very young age. When a child watches a movie, they always wonder who bad guys are, and who the good guys are; good also must prevail for them. This idea follows us and strengthens literature such as Paradise Lost when this ideology is further explained. In addition, Paradise Lost brings up topics such a free will, and original sin. But none or as powerful as the ideology of good vs. evil, especially when Milton delivers thunderous soliloquies delivered by none other than Satan and his crew is hellish vagabonds.

King Lear plays off the ongoing theme of good vs. evil. As King Lear progresses, Lear falls deeper and deeper into insanity and despair. Lear’s path towards insanity draws similarities to Dr. Faustus slow and winding path into the same chasm. Also, Lear’s path towards insanity can be juxtaposed with his brain becoming evil. At the beginning of the play, Lear is a nice king simply looking to divide his assets between his daughters. When Lear discovers the deceit of his two daughters, Regan and Goneril, he mind makes the jump from good to evil. This metaphorical transition is signified by Lear’s nakedness during a raging storm. “The tempest in my mind doth from my sense take all feeling else…To shut me out! Pour on; I will endure. In such a night as this! O Regan, Goneril! Your old king father, who frank heart gave all – O, that way madness lies; let me shun that; No more of that” (3.4.13). The storm and words symbolizing Lear’s demise mirrors the words of Pilate and the storm after the crucifixion of Jesus, “Behold to what a condition the Man whom you accuse of aspiring to royalty is reduced! See whether He is not rather worthy of tears and compassion than of hatred!” Furthermore, the betrayal Lear receives at the hands of his daughter’s, “But I’ll not chide thee; Let shame come when it will, I don’t call it” (2.4.221), parallels the betrayal Jesus receives at the hands of disciple, his brother, Judas; “Are you betraying the son of man with a kiss?”

Shakespeare makes such a memorable scene because everyone can relate to strife among family members. Many times this strife can lead to the misery and despair Lear shows. Once Lear becomes totally rejected by both of his daughters, he runs through the storm depicting a visual image that will last a lifetime. When King Lear is imprisoned, the dialogue he delivers creates a last image:

“Come, let’s away to prison. We two alone will sing like biids I’ the cage. When thou dost ask me blessing, I’ll kneel down, and ask of thee forgiveness. So we’ll live and pray, and sing, and tell old tales, and laugh at gilded butterflies, and hear poor rogues Talk of court news; and we’ll talk with them too, who loses and who wins; who’s in and who’s out; And take upon’s the mystery of thing, As if we were God’s spies; and we’ll wear out. In a walled prison, pack and sects of great ones, that ebb and flow by the moon” (5.3.8).

Many of the entanglements the characters face in Dr. Faustus, King Lear, and Paradise Lost are situations that we ourselves fear. Coming face to face with Satan, devils, falling into despair, depression, and suicide are activities not meant for an enjoyable Saturday afternoon. For this reason, these ideas become very desirable to read, the readers have the ability to face their fears and encounter them without actually confront them in real life. How many can say they would enjoy having Mephasatophilis drag them to the pits of hell, or be cast out of paradise. All of these ideas appeal to a reader’s imagination; picturing a contingent of devils debating in hell appeals to people on a certain level. As mentioned earlier, children always need to know who the good guys are and who the bad guys are. While having the good guy win is generally expected, it’s interesting to see what happens when the bad guy prevails. Each of these stories depicts a certain angle of evil triumphing. Dr. Faustus gets dragged off to hell after falling into a deep despair which he cannot repent, Satan successfully changes into a serpent and corrupts God’s race of humans, and Lear is betrayed by his own flesh and blood, and his good daughter unjustly dies. Which brings up the point of justice, each novel hints that there is no justice to be found anywhere.

Even if your wildest dreams are fulfilled, for example being granted the ability to use magic, you will not be happy in the end. Dr. Faustus uses his magical power for childish pranks and means to amuse himself. Obtaining magic is a fantasy for a lot of people and is another idea that appeals to the imagination. However, at the end of the play, Dr. Faustus accomplishes nothing of his original dream to help the world and winds up simply boxing the Pope’s ear, “Ay, pray for me, pray for me: and what noise soever ye hear, come not unto me, for nothing can rescue me. Gentlemen, farewell. If I live till morning, I’ll visit you; if not, Faustus is gone to hell…O spare me, Lucifer!” (13.54). In Paradise Lost, Satan corrupts the race of human’s that are supposed to live in the Garden of Eden for eternity. Instead, he tempts Eve and we know the rest, “I yield it just and submit. But is there yet no other way, besides these painful messages, how we may come to death, and mid with our connatural dust?” (11.523). For a reader today, this may sounds unfair because the Garden of Eden sounds like the perfect place and we have no chance of being in it for a mistake that happened many years ago. The death of Cordelia is a terrible injustice. The only good daughter to Lear winds up dead, “This feather stirs; she lives! If it be so, it is a chance which does redeem all sorrows that ever I have felt…why should a dog, a horse, a rat, have life, and thou no breath at all?” (5.3.265). This scene parallels the loss of paradise experienced by Adam and Eve. Something so good, almost maintained, but lost, Lear says “A plague upon you, murderers, traitors all! I might have saved her; now she’s gone for ever” (5.3.269).

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Sir Gawain and Beowulf: The quest For Identity

Posted on 08 June 2009 by movie

Sir Gawain and the Green Knight, Beowulf

The poets of Beowulf, and Sir Gawain and the Green Knight, have developed two different heroes that reflect the different times of each poet. Although the two texts have intrinsic differences in setting, plot, mood, and tone, the heroes themselves are very similar in nature. Each hero discovers their identity by a series of trials and tests. Both Beowulf and Sir Gawain demonstrate qualities of loyalty, honor, courage, valor, and worthiness throughout their own respected trials.

In Beowulf, we are introduced to the Scandinavian warrior, Beowulf, who roams in a “time when hardy warrior tribes fought against one another, when change and death were inevitable, when all that really mattered was not if you died by how and when.” Beowulf eventually finds himself amongst a group of warriors at King Hrothgar’s Mead-Hall. The Mead-Hall, Heorot, is where all the warriors of King Hrothgar’s tribe gather to partake in revelry and is an important motif in the Anglo-Saxon epic. However, the declining status of King Hrothgar’s Mead-Hall is in need of a hero. “This race of warriors must also have their hero, someone who will represent all that is right and good in the society, who can rid society of evil, supernatural forces.”[1] Beowulf lives in a time where the Germanic warrior code: strength, courage, and loyalty, is a dominating force. Beowulf’s demeanor demonstrates these qualities throughout the poem.

In Sir Gawain and the Green Knight, Gawain is an honorable Knight in King Arthur’s court. Gawain has the difficult task of “obeying God, King, and Queen and following all of the overlapping contradictions which his position as knight entails.” When Gawain becomes tied up in the Green Knight’s perturbed “game of heads,” his “honor is constantly at stake.”[2] Gawain accepts the Green Knight’s offer in defense of King Arthur who has reluctantly taken the challenge in place of his knights. In the Green Knight’s “game of heads,” each participant is allowed a single whack at one another head. Since Gawain went first, and successfully knocked off The Green Knight’s head, the game now requires Gawain to meet The Green Knight a year and a day later in his evil liar, The Green Chapel, for his turn at Gawain’s head. Gawain’s challenge is especially difficult. Not only must Gawain uphold his knightly honor and arrive at the Green Chapel a year and a day later, he must remember to uphold the honor of God, which proves to be a task too difficult.

In the early stages of their careers both Beowulf and Gawain accept challenges that begin a series of trials to test their character. We are introduced to Beowulf after the Cain descended heathen, Grendel, has been terrorizing the men of King Hrothgar’s Mead-Hall. “Beowulf, hearing from mariners of Grendel’s murderous visits, sailed from Geatland with fourteen stalwart companions to render Hrothgar the help of his great strength.[3] When Beowulf realizes what is happening, he agrees to help Hrothgar with the difficult task of killing Grendel. Beowulf’s decision to defend Hrothgar and his men at the Mead-Hall against the terror of Grendel reflects Gawain’s own choice to accept the challenge of the dreadful Green Knight and to protect his King and the Knights of the Round Table. “He looked a lightning flash / they say: he seemed so bright / and who would dare to clash / in melee with such might?” The Green Knight effortlessly strolled into King Arthur’s court instantly captivating the “stone-still” court to his awesome presence. It is here that Gawain defends his king, “Lord, hear well what I mean / and let this match be mine,” and takes his place in the Green Knight’s game:

“No, I have come to this court for a bit of Christmas fun / fitting for Yuletide and New Years with such a fine crowd. / who here in this house thinks he has what it takes, / has bold blood and a brash head, / and dares to stand his ground, giving stroke for stroke?

The second task each hero faces is very different in nature, but each uses similar qualities to overcome the challenge. “Grendel’s mother came to avenge the fatal injury to her monster son and carried off a Danish nobleman and Grendel’s torn–off paw.” Beowulf is confronted by Grendel’s mother who now seeks revenge upon him for slaying her son. Beowulf nobly follows the blood trail left by the body of the Danish nobleman to the murky swamp that Grendel’s mother queerly calls home. Beowulf swims to the ambiguous depths of the swamp battling an array of underwater creatures in order to slay the desolate swamp hag. “Great was the rejoicing in the hall and greater was Beowulf’s welcome when he returned to Geatland, where he was given great estates and many high honors.”[4]

Gawain’s second trial comes in the form of a series of tests from a man named Bertilak. Bertilak has a magic castle that Gawain ‘stumbles upon’ while traveling to the vaunted Green Chapel. As fate would have it, Bertilak is secretly the Green Knight in disguise. Bertilak tries to stray Gawain away from Green Chapel by softening him with warm lodging, food, and women. “When he resumes his quest for the Green Chapel and leaves the luxurious castle behind there is room once more for heroism in his behavior, and indeed he shows heroism of a particularly touching kind.”[5] Although Gawain doesn’t successfully pass all of Bertilak’s tests, he still maintains his honor and integrity by meeting with the Green Knight and upholding his end of the barging. This “seems to set an even higher value on his courage and integrity, the two central pillars of his manhood.” Without really knowing, Gawain was also representing the honor, integrity, and spirituality of all the Knights of the Round Table. For this, Gawain takes it especially hard on himself for his failure and sin in Bertilak’s castle. “He [Gawain] is not quite so brave or so honorable as he thought he was, but he is still very brave, and very honorable. He cannot quite see this, but the reader can.”[6]

When the dragon enters the story, Beowulf has safely secured his legend as a mighty warrior, leader, and is extremely heroic. “By now we are supposed to have grasped the plan. Disaster is foreboded. Defeat is the theme. Triumph over the foes of man’s precarious fortress is over, and we approach slowly and reluctant the inevitable victory of death.” Beowulf, in the ultimate act of heroism, temporarily achieves salvation for his people, and bequeaths his armor to Wiglaf as his final act on earth. “Beowulf, already there it had these two primary features: the dragon, and the slaying of him as the chief deed of the greatest of heroes.”[7]

Both Beowulf and Sir Gawain and the Green Knight were written in completely different times. The audiences of each had very different ideas of basic integrities such as: religion, truth, honor and man hood. Sir Gawain succeeded by upholding his agreement with the Green Knight, Gawain is the perfect knight; he is so recognized by the various characters in the story and, for all his modesty, implicitly in his view of himself,”[8] and Beowulf, “Beowulf’s body was burned on a vast funeral pyre, while twelve Geats rode around the mound singing their sorrow and their praise for the good and great man, Beowulf,” with defending his people.

Annotated Bibliography


[1]Esther Lombardi. “Beowulf’s monsters: Grendel, his mother, and the dragon in the oldest of the great long poems.” http://classiclit.about.com/b/a/108233.htm (2004)

The author of this article focuses her research on the three monsters in Beowulf; Grendel, Grendel’s mother, and the Dragon. Lombardi takes the three monsters and relates them into the story has Beowulf’s challenges. Lombardi makes intelligent insights to the inner workings of the Mead-Hall and how it relates to the race of warriors, especially Hrothgar and Beowulf.

[2] Esther Lombardi. “Arthurian Romance.” http://classiclit.about.com/od/kingarthur/a/aa_arthurian.htm (2004)

Esther Lombardi, this time, handles an article based on Arthurian Romances. In this article she discusses a variety of texts including Sir Gawain and the Green Knight. In her analysis of Sir Gawain and the Green Knight, Lombardi touches on the difficult task Gawain has in upholding his honor for God, his king, and his queen.

[3]Thomas Bulfinch. “Age of Fable: Stories of Gods & Heroes”

http://classiclit.about.com/od/kingarthur/a/aa_arthurian.htm (Chapter: 42, 1850)

In this internet-published-book on fables, Bulfinch dedicates a chapter to the Anglo-Saxon epic poem Beowulf. In the opening section of Chapter 42, Bulfinch discussing how Beowulf came to defend Hrothgar and his Mead-Hall against Grendel. This chapter his presents nice views and usable quotations that will help to further an understanding of the epic.

[4] Same a #3

[5] Donald Clark, et al. English Literature: A College Anthology. New York: The Macmillian Company, 1960.

Clark simply offers his view of Gawain. He’s very impressed with the honor that Sir Gawain maintains throughout the entire poem. Clark reinforces that although Gawain feels his fundamental failure in accepting the Green Girdle is a major character flaw, the readership of Sir Gawain and the Green Knight still sees him as an honorable and worthy knight.

[6] Same as #5

[7] J.R.R. Tolkien. Beowulf: The monsters and the critics. The British Academy, 1936

Tolkien’s article is an overview of criticism throughout the years on Beowulf. Tolkien argues against many theories in specific the previous views of the monsters in the poem. Tolkien argues that not only are the monsters vital to the poem, but they are very important for the poet to develop Beowulf’s character.

[8] Same as # 5

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Terminator 4 Salvation Review

Posted on 06 June 2009 by movie

Terminator 4: Salvation Movie Review, quotes, plot, actors, trailer

Does anyone even remember the name of the 3rd Terminator movie…?  It was Rise of the Machines… but you had to think didn’t you… Do you remember the plot? … most likely negative on that one too.  The Terminator franchise has lost its identity and charm of the original two directed by James Cameron.  The reason why you can’t answer the questions I posed above is because there was nothing worth remembering about the movie.

Ask me about Terminator 2, and I could probably quote several lines and note worthy scenes.  The recent Terminator flicks were just that, regular movies with a Terminator badge… not the real deal.  It’s like those people that drive around in regular BMW or Mercedes, but put the words M or AMG on the back to make themselves feel special.  The Terminator franchise was built on thrills, imagination, narrative, emotion, believability, character development and watchability. Terminator Salvation has plenty of thrills… Period. Terminator Salvation works as a summer action popcorn flick… but as a Terminator movie… you leave the theater asking yourself what you just saw and why do you care?

Special FX are top notch, and there are some cool scenes, but overall the writing/execution doesn’t quite work.  I get they were going for a darker, grimmer and more stylistically single-minded film.  But com’on, its Terminator!   I guess, what do you expect from a director named, McG whose rise to stardom in Hollywood was at the reigns of the Charlies Angels movies.  The disappointment is in that indefinable quality we expect from movies with roots that touched our earlier years.  Who knows, the younger generation may consider this to be their favorite Terminator movie… I’d call them idiots and tell them to re-watch the first two post haste.  If you’re looking to rekindle that feeling you get when watching a real Terminator movie… skip this one.  If you just wanna see a movie where machines blow up… go at it.

Terminator 4 Salvation

Terminator 4 Salvation

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Cloverfield Movie Review

Posted on 04 June 2009 by movie

Cloverfield Movie Review, quotes, plot, actors, trailer, sequel, clues, secrets

While it [the "camcorder shooting ploy"] injects the film with a run-and-gun urgency, the device grows tiresome.  Essentially, that is all I can complain about.  Cloverfield is an effective film (given its B-movie, Godzilla-type genre), deploying its special effects well and never breaking the illusion that it is all happening as we see it.

It’s not the life-changing movie experience the intense viral marketing attention (which should get a lot of credit for the film’s success) would lead you to think it is, but its decision to focus on ground-level humanism rather than epic disaster is what separates it from the pack.

Cloverfield

Cloverfield

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How To Talk To Girls At The Bar

Posted on 02 June 2009 by movie

Talking to girls at the bar can be pretty intimidating - if you let it be. There are two main variables to the equation:

  1. Confidence
  2. Never, ever use pick lines

Whenever talking to girls at the bar either try to say something about the current situation, or simply say, “Hi, it’s nice to meet you.” You’ll be able to tell within the first 30 seconds if the girl has any interest in continuing the conversation or not. If she clearly has no interest  say, “Well, I’m going to get back to my friends, nice chatting.” Or whatever else you think would be appropriate. A key thing to remember is not to get down on yourself if she doesn’t want to talk, just move right along. You can’t live and die with each interaction; you have to have tough skin and can’t be afraid to get rejected.

This might sound ridiculous but you need to practice talking to girls. Just as anything else, the more you practice, the better you get, the higher your confidence becomes.

Screw these analogies, okay? What he’s saying is that you are gonna be so bad at sex the first time that you don’t wanna have sex with someone you like, ’cause they’ll think you’re a weirdo for being so lame at it. So you wanna have sex with “hood rats” so that by the time you get to a girl that you do like, you won’t be terrible at sex, you’ll be mediocre at it. [pause] Probably still pretty bad, though.
-Jay from the 40-year-old Virgin.

OK - so were going to take this quote from Jay and replace the concept of ’sex’ with ‘talking to girls’.  This might sound bad but try to talk to a less attractive girl - to build your confidence. A girl who you aren’t intimidated by because of her good looks. Walk right up to her and here’s how the conversation will go:

You - “Hey, how’s it going?”

Her - It’s going good.”

You- “My name is [Your Name]. So, what do [ask her about anything]?” (I prefer asking about work now that I’m older)

The key to holding a conversation is to comment on what the girl says. If she says she works at XYZ Company, ask her what she does there, if she likes it, how did she get to that job and anything else along those lines. When you’re asking her these questions and she’s very unengaged, say, “OK - well, it was nice to meet you, I’m going to head back to my friends.” If the girl is interested you’ll also know fairly quickly. The hardest part is going up there for the first time - but if you struggle making that first contact, you have to push yourself.

Good advice from Jay

Good advice from Jay

If you don’t go up to that girl you’re right back where you started - with no girl. Nothing bad can come from going up to a girl. A very important thing to remember is never go up to a girl who obviously has a boyfriend; you’re trying to talk to girls and not get into fights. The point is, if you go up to her and get rejected, at least you tried, now you know and your confidence will grow for taking the leap. You never know, you might just walk away with a phone number or more. Girls will virtually never fall into your lap. Even if you are introduced to a girl (the best) you still have to put in some work and talk to her.

Time for a quick story: About 4 years ago I was at the bar with one of my friends from back home. He was sitting on his bar stool drinking a beer. A very attractive girl walks by and he says to her, “Do you wanna sit on it?” She replies, “NO!” My friend replies, “Well keep on movin’ then.” Obviously this is a crude example of what I’m trying to preach. Don’t be afraid to talk to a girl, and if she rejects you, don’t let it bother you and keep on going. Never use pick up lines.

Talking to girls is fun. Men are all hunters and women are a very challenging game (sorry, that was a little insensitive). Don’t put women on a pedestal (40-year-old virgin reference), they are human  beings just like you. In fact, they like the same things you do and want to meet guys just like you want to meet girls. Girls also like to have sex - I know, shocking. Don’t let yourself think that the bar is a bad place to talk to women. It’s a great place because it has little consequence if you fail. You’re typically there with your buddies just to have a good time anyway. Also, the older you get, the less opportunities you have to talk to girls on a daily basis so you need to talk to them whenever you can.

At some point you’re simply going to have to get over it and start approaching girls. The more you try the better you’ll get. Just remember to never ask a girl if she wants to sit on it and you’ll be good.

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